Ina Gonna Boycott You Bitch

Ina Garten, you should be ashamed.

Ina Garten, not once, but twice refused to meet a little boy that wanted to meet her via the “Make a Wish Foundation”.

 Enzo Pereda, 6 years old, has had acute lymphoblastic leukemia for 3 years now.  He would often watch Garten’s show, “The Barefoot Contessa” from his bed with his mother.  When “Make a Wish” called he immediately knew that he wanted to meet and cook with Ina Garten. How many 6 year old boys would want to meet this old bat?? Not many. She should have been thrilled. But no, she refused. She gave the excuse of a busy book tour.

“Make a Wish” tells the boy she is just too busy and would he like another wish. He said that he would wait. The foundation went back to Garten again asking her to meet with the boy. Again, she says she is just too busy.

Enzo was told no again and this time he came up with another wish; to swim with dolphins. Pereda’s mom said the boy looked at her and said, “Why doesn’t she want to meet me?” Doesn’t that just break your heart?

As soon as this story broke, what do you know?? Suddenly, Garten’s schedule was cleared. Enzo has been invited to visit the set of her show.

It is odd this story has come up this week. I just this past weekend watched a portion of one of her Food Network shows and was bored to tears. I got to watch her feed her face with some restaurant owner’s cheese dip and then we were shown how to make it at home. This woman got rich off this stupid show??

Ina Garten is a greedy self-absorbed woman. Oh yes, her publicist said she is bombarded with requests to meet sick adults and children and she simply cannot meet everyone. There cannot be that many people that want to meet this woman. Or how about this? Cancel one of your book tour stops or re-schedule a stop. Will someone die from not getting their cookbook signed? Not a chance. You picked the book tour over charity because the book tour pays baby. You evil, evil woman.

Please don’t put any more money in this woman’s pockets. Read more, watch TV less. If you need a cookbook, buy something by Paula Deen or The Pioneer Woman.

Laptop Sock:Greatest Invention EVER

This is the laptop sock. As you can see it wraps around your laptop and has armholes so you can type away. The sock goes over your head so you can watch whatever you want without anyone knowing. Pair this with The Snuggie and this is my idea of heaven on earth.

The main reason being that I am always cold. It can be 100 degrees outside and I will have my heater on under my desk at work. I wear long-sleeve shirts year round. This sock would keep my hands and my nose super warm.

The other reason is I hate when people lean over and look at what you are doing on your laptop. Doesn't matter if it is at an airport or at home with family, people just are nosy by nature I suppose. With this you would not have that problem at all. Well I am sure someone would get over-curious and try to lean in to see through the knitted material. At that point, I would pull the sock off my head and scream at them, "YES! I AM WATCHING PORN!"

I am told often that I am hard to buy gifts for. Well people get those knitting sticks to work. I am going to give you the instructions to whip up one of these for me and if you hustle you might just be able to have it done in time for Christmas. http://www.instructables.com/id/Laptop-Compubody-Sock/

Not Intended For Those With Weak Bladders

I love to laugh. It just makes me feel good all over.

If you have a cell phone with auto-correct I think you will get a kick out of this site. I cannot tell you how many times I have typed something like, "That guy was lame" then look to see my phone has sent, "That hit was lame." The other person thinks you are nuts or retarded. So you quickly try to re-send "guy" so they know the phone has screwed you once again and you do not need to be institutionalized.

If you want a good laugh and you think your bladder can hold from laughing so hard (mine did not) then go check out this site...damnyouautocorrect.com. Page after page filled of examples like the one I have posted. Just take it easy, I don't want to be running Depends to your house tonight.

You Might Be An Idiot If...

An unidentified man (would you want everyone to know you did this to yourself?) went into a tattoo parlor in Amityville, NY and let the tattoo artist talk him into having this lovely piece of art placed on his leg.

Mike Nomy, tattoo artist said, "We were talking about Charlie Sheen and kept repeating his catchphrases. I said that I had an awesome idea for a Sheen tattoo and he immediately said he wanted it. I thought it was so funny I did it for free."

I have heard of some crazy stuff going on in Amityville but this takes the cake.

Personally, I have never been a fan of tattoos. I just don't like the thought of something that is inked on me forever. I change my mind about things more often than Anne Hathaway changed gowns during the Oscars. My first tattoo would be "Adam Lambert's Lover". A year or so from now I will be over Adam (maybe) and would have to scribble it out or just get a new one for my new love..."Trump's Tramp". So, it is just best I pass on getting a tattoo anytime in the near future.

As for this guy...when the Sheen mania is over, he will have to have skin graft surgery performed or just chop off his leg. Poor bastard.

Hooters Saves The Day

The only time all year long I watch college basketball is during "March Madness". I love filling out a bracket and trying to pick the upsets.

The bad thing about "March Madness" is most of the games take place during the day when the tournament first gets started. It is hard to keep track of the Ohio State score with your boss peeking over your shoulder.

Well Hooters has come to the rescue! They are offering up a doctor's excuse, along with a coupon for a free appetizer. So just call in sick, head down to your local Hooter's, enjoy the games and come back to work on Monday with an excuse. I am not sure who thought of this but it is genius. If you are interested in participating all you have to do is go to the link below and print off your doctor's note and free appetizer coupon. Enjoy the games everyone.
http://www.hootershookyday.com/register.aspx

Once Bitten, Twice Too Much

Let's face it, vampires are hot right now. True Blood, Vampire Diaries and the Twilight series have taken vampires to a new level of popularity.

So I guess the news story I just read should not surprise me, but it does.

An Arizona man has received 3 years of probation for stabbing his roommate when he refused to let him suck his blood. Aaron Homer, 24, pleaded guilty to aggravated assault.

According to the Arizona Republic, Homer's roommate, Robert Maley, had let him suck his blood once. Maley told Homer no thanks the second time around and all hell broke loose.

The two men live together along with Homer's girlfriend who told police both guys are "into vampire stuff."

"Into vampire stuff." Uh huh. You know I am a big fan of True Blood but I have never once thought it would be a great idea to suck someone's blood. I don't think it would taste good and with my luck I would catch some sort of rare disease.

Please people, get a clue and leave all the bloodsucking to the Cullens.

Blast From The Past

Tera Myers, 38, resigned from her position as a science teacher and volleyball coach of a suburban St. Louis high school, after a student confronted her about being a former porn star.

Myers is a mother of four children and had been teaching in the Parkway School District for four years. The school accepted her resignation "out of respect for her privacy and that of her family."

This is the 2nd time that Myers has had issues trying to teach. In 2006, she was suspended from a school in Paducah, KY. The school district decided not to renew her contract.

Myers began her stint in porn because she was a homeless mother of two. " I was broke and wound up meeting some strippers who introduced me to stripping. I was making a lot of irrational decisions, porn only being the worst.”

Myers worked her way out of the mess she was in. She received a teaching degree from Murray State University in Kentucky." I’ve found God. I’ve gotten an education. I’ve done everything I could possibly do to prove that I’m a different person now. … As a teacher, I can exemplify what it means to change.”

This just makes me sad. Teaching is a crappy job to begin with. Here is a person that so badly wants to teach kids and be a positive influence. She has obviously worked really hard to forget about her past and move on with her life.

I understand that once this is out it might be a little distracting, especially to high school age boys, but there are other grades she could teach where the children don't know of such things yet. I just don't think her past should ruin her career.

Would like to hear your opinions...

Give Me American Idol Or Give Me Imprisonment

Are all the crazy people in Florida?

Barran Prakash, 47, attacked two of his co-workers because they would not turn on "American Idol".

Prakash was preparing a meal in a hotel room Tuesday night and talking to his wife on the phone. His wife reminded him that the show was coming on. Prakash told the co-workers to change the channel to Idol. The two co-workers refused and Prakash put a butcher knife to the throat of one of them.

Cops were called and Prakash was arrested for aggravated assault with a deadly weapon without intent to kill.

So many questions...why was he sharing a hotel room with 2 co-workers? Why would a 47-year-old man be so obsessed with American Idol? Does he have a crush on Ryan? What was he cooking for dinner? Why did his wife tell him Idol was on Tuesday night? It wasn't. All that for nothing.

Ladies You Must Read This Book

I have been reading this book for awhile now. With all the writing I have been doing for class and for the blog I don't have as much time to read as I would like.

I read one of my many self help books and the person that wrote that book recommended this one. I have read a few books on finance and savings but none like this. It was easy to understand and has so many good things in it that I am going to have to go back over the book again.

Please keep in mind this book was last updated in 2002 so some of the information is dated like you are worth more money than you make, go in and get a 10% raise. Uh huh. Not with this economy. But really most of the information in this book is very helpful. I wish someone had given me a copy of it about 20 years ago, but I will get busy with what I have learned and hopefully won't be eating cat food when I retire.

I beg you...go get this book right now and start reading. If you are a dude and don't want to buy a book for women I understand...David Bach has many books out that you might be more comfortable reading like, "Smart Couples Finish Rich" or "Start Late, Finish Rich".

If I had Oprah money I would buy every woman I know a copy. That is how important I feel this book is. Do yourself a favor...check it out from your library and then report back to me what you think.

Ex-Girlfriend Making A Killing Selling Stuff On Ebay

This is "Taylor". Her friend and a neighbor tipped her off that her boyfriend was cheating on her while she was working. She kicked him out and started selling his stuff on Ebay. The catch? She poses with very little on while displaying the boyfriends stuff.

The woman is making a killing. I checked a few minutes ago and a plain white t-shirt autographed by "Taylor" was getting $61. Dress shirts were over $100.

She says that her boyfriend had been unemployed for 5 years and she had bought all this stuff for him so it was rightfully hers to sell.  Isn't that kind of rude to give a gift and take it back to sell?  I suppose it was rude of him to cheat on her though. What puzzles me is this...if you are this hot...why would you support your unemployed boyfriend for 5 years? I would have dumped him long before now. 

Obviously she doesn't want anyone to know who she is, so if I were the ex, I think I would start getting my butt on tv shows and exposing her. All is fair in love and war, correct? But so far no ex has come forward, which makes Woprah skeptical. Could she have made up this whole story to get publicity and money? And why do you have to be half naked to sell the stuff? In the interview she says it is because he liked her to dress very conservative and this is a way of telling him he has no say so anymore. She also said she was not vindictive. Uh huh.

I smell a rat. Only time will tell I suppose. If you are bored and like looking at photos of a half naked woman then go check out her site. Tell her Woprah sent you.
http://myexboyfriendscloset.com/

Funny Charlie Sheen Cartoon

Celebrity Apprentice 2011: Might Be Nuttiest Season Ever

The new season of Celebrity Apprentice starts tonight on NBC at 8pm central.

I must admit when I saw the lineup of celebs I knew I would have to watch. The only celeb that might make this season better would be Charlie Sheen. Here are the competitors: Richard Hatch, David Cassidy, Dionne Warwick, Marlee Matlin, Gary Busey, Mark McGrath, NeNe Leakes, Jose Canseco, Star Jones, Meat Loaf, Lisa Rinna, Lil Jon, LaToya Jackson and John Rich.

Now most of these lunatics I can see being on this show but Dionne Warwick and Marlee Matlin? You would think they would be a little too high class for this show. I realize they are raising money for their charity of choice but you would think they could do that without being a Trump puppet.

I think Gary Busey will make this show interesting. He is truly mental. LaToya is right up there. I wish I could figure out why I love watching crazy people so much. Is it because I relate???

Ok so here is what I am hoping for...Star Jones and Lisa Rinna have a cat fight...big one...so big they both leave the show. David Cassidy is going to be useless which will anger the males on his team and he will be one of the first to get fired. Busey stays on as long as possible for entertainment value and John Rich wins Celebrity Apprentice.

Tune in tonight to check it out. There isn't anything else to watch on Sunday nights so you might as well enjoy the Trump circus.

Woprah Interviews Billy Ray Cyrus

WO: Billy, your interviews of late have made you seem a bit crazy so I thought I would give you the opportunity to clear up a few things.

BR: Thank you. That is nice. Maybe one of these days I will do something to return the favor, like play at your 40th birthday party.

WO: Um, nah that's ok. Let's get to it. Did your wife really have an affair with Bret Michaels?

BR: No he is a good friend of mine.

WO: Means nothing and she looks like she has been around the block a time or 200 times.

BR: I don't want to talk about my wife.

WO: Ok, how about Miley? I have heard you say in the past that you have never made a dime off of her. I would like to call BS on that one.

BR: What are you talking about? I haven't made any money off of Miley.

WO: You mean to tell me this house of yours was paid for by "Doc" and "Achy Breaky Heart"?  Nope, not buying it.

BR: Well I wrote "Achy Breaky" so I keep getting checks from that.

WO: Billy, you did not write "Achy Breaky".

BR: Well I wish I wrote it. That is a good tune. Now I do bring in around $30,000/ year touring.

WO: Dude, I make more than that a year. I certainly don't have a house like this. Sure you haven't made some money off Miley?

BR: Well maybe a little.

WO: What's up with the hair? It is an improvement over the mullet but not much of one.

BR: Look at these fancy highlights. My hair is stylin' these days.

WO: Miley is hosting "Saturday Night Live" tonight. Did she invite you up to watch the show?

BR: Nah, I was thinking maybe you and me could chill here and watch it together. We could snuggle up on the bear rug and watch a "Doc" marathon before the show starts.

WO: Wow, well that sounds like fun Billy but I have an appointment for a colonoscopy and I just cannot miss that. Bye Billy!

Woprah Interviews Charlie Sheen

Me: Charlie, you have been a very busy boy. I think I have seen you on every news program and radio station out there.

C: Yea I gotta get my word out there…speak the truth.

Me: Charlie I think the truth that is coming through loud and clear is that you are just nuts. I know that the majority of the men in this country are horribly jealous of what is going on in this house and think you are cooler than a rock star but I think the drugs may have damaged your brain a bit.

C:I am the coolest person on the planet and all the stars in our galaxy. I got Tiger blood and everyone wants it. Pretty soon people will want some of my blood so they can drink it and be like me. Like on True Blood you know?

Me: Yea I know True Blood. *trying to keep my rolling eyeballs in my head*

 Where are the “goddesses”?

C: Oh they are out buying a new outfit for tonight. Diddy is coming over to party with us. Gonna be good times. Would you like to join us? An exclusive look inside a Charlie Sheen party.

Me: *thinking this could be the thing to get White Oprah off the ground and running. How bad could it be?*

Ok Charlie. I will stay.

I don’t remember much after this. I remember him offering me a drink and some brownies. I love my chocolate so I ate half the pan.

When I came to there was a monkey running around the room screeching which made my head throb.  As I tried to stand up I noticed a fresh tattoo on my arm. A giant tiger along with the words, “Charlie Sheen was here.” Oh God, what have I done?

A little person raced into the room on a jacked up Segway. He had nothing on but a necktie. Said he would give me a ride to the front door if I give him one of my “c-notes”.

I said, “What?”

He said, “Your underwear is full of c-notes”.

I looked down to see I am wearing a Hanes t-shirt and a pair of men’s boxers that are stuffed with $100 bills. Was I molested by these lunatics???????

I hand him a bill and off we went. As my hand touched the front door knob I heard Diddy screaming.

“Hey you! Get me the hell out of here!”

Poor Diddy was chained up to the leg of the pool table and wearing a tutu.

“You are on your own dude. I am out of here” I said.

I ran as fast as I could down the driveway waving one of my c-notes at traffic until one stopped to give me a ride to my hotel. Thank God I made it out alive!