Me: Talk show hosts making wagers over getting you on their shows. What made you cancel the Oprah Show and come here?
Vick: White Oprah is where it’s at right now.
Me: Sucking up will usually get you everywhere with me, but not in your case Mister. How was prison?
Vick: It changed my life, made me a better man. I finally got a perspective on my life that I never had before.
Me: Uh huh. So you get out and off to the Eagles you go. What was it like to be playing in the NFL again?
Vick: Playing football is where I am supposed to be. Kolb getting hurt was a real blessing.
Me: Um, a blessing for you but a disaster for him since you stole his job. Too bad you can’t go to prison for that too.
I have to admit dog killer, that I loved watching you play football. I still love to watch you play, but it is different now… you are tainted. Your talent amazes me and I love to watch, but at the same time I want you to fail miserably.
Vick: Woprah, I have paid for my crime. I went to prison, I lost everything I had and I give to charities.
Me: Mr Vick, you have not come close to paying for this crime. You took innocent animals and made them fight all for a few bucks, which you really didn’t need. I do know that you will truly pay for this crime eventually. Ok, well I feel better, how about you?
Vick: Not really. I gotta get out of here…going to a birthday party for one of my cousins. Want me to sign some stuff before I go? Jersey? Photos? I could make it out : “To Woprah I chose you over Oprah, Love Mikey” and you could post it on your website.
Me: Hell no. Get out of here before I sic my dog on your ass.
