The White Oprah Prepares You for Winter

We have a major snowstorm headed our way. It should reach us by tomorrow evening and they are saying we should get 8-13 inches of snow and ice. That is a bunch for around here. So tomorrow run right out to your local shoe store (I know Shoe Carnival carries these) and pick up a pair of Yaktrax. I love the person that invented these! You will never ever fall on ice or snow again. As you can see from the photo they strap on around your shoes. It can be tennis shoes or snow boots. These things have steel coils that get you locked into the ice or snow and won't let you slip. They say you can even go for a run with these (The White Oprah does not condone running anywhere for anything...not even for a brownie).

I wish these had been available back when I was a sophomore in college. I had just finished my International Business course and was heading down to my car. To get to my car I had to walk down 3 flights of ice covered steps. They had railings which I clung to for dear life and made it to the parking lot. Having survived near death on the stairs I was feeling cocky. The parking lot looked like a professional hockey ice rink. Solid ice everywhere. Still I had defeated the stairs so I was feeling good.

I took about 3 steps onto the parking lot and fell. I fell on an incline and began to slide. Next thing I know I am underneath a car looking up at the axle. There are people watching. Not offering help of course, just watching what my next move would be. Crying came to mind, I was fairly certain my ass had smashed my pinkie finger and it would never work again. So, I reached out with both hands and pulled myself out from underneath the car using the bumper, like a mechanic. My head hit my backpack that had somehow come off of me during my slide. I used the bumper of that car to pull myself up to a standing position and walked as carefully as I could to my car. I got in and took a look at myself. My jeans were torn, I was wet, dirty and miserable. There was blood gushing from my pinkie. Lovely.

I did not want to go back to class for about a week. I was certain I would be recognized and would hear the shouts of, "Hey there's the human hockey puck! She shoots she scoresssssss!" Luckily, I didn't hear much about it, but to this day I have a horrible fear of walking on ice or snow. I have been know to grab onto 80 year old grandmothers to support me walking across ice. I figure if she falls and breaks a hip no one will miss her. She does very little to contribute to society these days.

Take it from me, Yaktrax are the bomb...go get you a pair before this storm hits or you might be sorry!!!

Gwyneth and Her Goop

I like celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow. She can act, she can sing, she is a wife and a mother. I have discovered her latest talent...blogging. Well, GOOP started as a blog but now is really a full-fledged website with newsletters and beautiful photos.

Now reason number one of why I like going to her site is... well I am just nosy and like to see how celebrities live. Not too long ago she shared some photos of the apartment they fixed up to live in while she filmed "Country Strong" in Nashville. It was just an amazing place.

Another reason is she shares travel information as she goes around the world. There are parenting tips on there, some of the best shops to go to, recipes...you name it and Gwynie (that is what I call her because we are tight) has it on her site. Of course most of the items she buys are well out of my "not Orpah yet" budget. But it is just kind of fun to look.

So if you get a chance...go by Goop.com and tell Gwynie I sent you!

Finally The Photo I Wanted

You may notice the new photo of Oprah at the top of the blog. That is a creation of artists Nana and Peter at Quick Honey.

When I was getting ready to start this blog I found it on the internet and immediately wanted it. There were copyrights all over their site (of course) so I really thought if I used it I would be thrown in jail rather quickly.

Well today I received permission from Peter and Nana to use their picture. I was told as long as they are given credit they are cool with it. This just made my day.

As you can see I am having some HTML programming issues and cannot get Oprah centered. After an hour of banging my head against the keyboard, I am just going to leave it for now. I apologize. I would also love to add "Copyright Quickhoney.com" but have not figured out how to make that happen either.

So for now I will just say please go to Quickhoney.com and look at some of their work. It is really cool and they are so very nice for letting me use this because it is perfect for me, The White Oprah.

Can't Get Enough of Etsy

During the holidays I discovered Etsy.com. I thought Ebay was a great place but Etsy is like Ebay's weird, eclectic cousin. People from all over the world sell their homemade items on Etsy. You can buy art, vintage items, edibles, quilts, jewelry and much more. If you like to give gifts that are unusual and not found in stores you must go to Etsy.

I was shocked to discover that Etsy .com has been around since 2005. In 2009 the company held "etsyday" on Twitter and since then the company has blown up.

The picture above is my most recent purchase on Etsy. It is a journal that someone has made out of a ledger from 1915. The person drew this photo on top of the ledger. I have no idea how I am not smudging it but so far so good. This journal cost me around $20 plus shipping.

So with Valentine's Day only weeks away, you might want to check out Etsy.com for a gift for your special someone.

First Writing Assignment: Mary and Bob

This first assignment drove me nuts. I got it on Friday and thought about it all weekend long. On Monday I wrote out a rough draft and Monday night tried to make it better. So here were the rules...just so you know why this one nearly drove me to drink.

1. We were given 5 partial sentences to choose from and the sentence you chose had to be the first sentence of your story.

2. Must contain dialogue.

3. This one was the bitch...less than 300 words and had to have a twist to the story at the end.

I chose "Mary was "fed up" with Bob and"... this was all I had to go with. So here is what I came up with after 4 days of driving myself nuts.

Mary was “fed up” with Bob and his wandering eye. They had only been living here for a few months now and she has caught Bob looking across the street at the neighbor more times than she can count. The woman is beautiful, looks amazing in a bikini and pretty much anything she wears. Mary looks over and Bob is gazing out the window at the neighbor yet again. Mary knows things have not been right between them for years. He rarely looks at her in the eyes anymore and hasn’t touched her in months. Their relationship had turned into something platonic. She too yearned for more in this life, but they had been through so much.

Bob can see Mary watching him out of the corner of his eye. “Does she know that I don’t want to be here anymore? Does she know how unhappy I am?” Bob thinks to himself. Their eyes meet in the reflection of the glass and they quickly look away.

Mary wonders what the neighbor has that she doesn’t? So she looks great in whatever she wears. Big deal. Maybe it is her long blonde hair. Mary’s hair had always been red; she had always wanted to be a blonde. “If I were blonde would he want me again?” Mary sadly asks herself.

The day goes by slowly…Mary sees Bob watching the neighbor a few more times that day. Worrying about this has just worn her out. It had drained her of energy, like their relationship was drained of its life. Mary hears the glass door behind them sliding open, sees the new clothes with the Macy’s tags on them that she will get to wear and thinks, “a new outfit…I bet this time I will look better than the dummy across the street.”

This has been turned in and so far gotten one positive comment from another student. I am still waiting on a comment from the professor. I really hope tomorrow's assignment is a little less stressful.

Striving To Be Like Tabitha

This is not what I had planned to write about tonight. Yes, hard to believe but the White Oprah plans out her blog posts a few days in advance. Crazy, I know.

I was driving in the car today listening to the audio cd of Stephen King. It is his book called, "Writing". So far he has just basically gone over this life story. One story that I heard on the way home struck me. Stephen was a professor at a local college and writing fiction in his spare time. Two different ideas crossed paths, these ideas turned into the novel, "Carrie." He had read an article on telekinetics and an incident with girls throwing tampons at a girl that had just gotten her period, trying to humiliate her. He typed out 3 pages on a typewriter, looked them over and just felt like he could not relate to teenage girls and threw them away. That night he came home and his wife, Tabitha, had pulled them out of the trash, smoothed them all out and told him he needed to finish this. He spoke with her about how he doesn't understand teenage girls, etc and she told him she would help him. The rest as they say is history.

The story blew my mind. What if she had never pulled those pages out of the trash? What if she had not believed in him? I started thinking how important it is to have people in your life that will tell you the truth. To have people in your life that believe in you. To have people in your life that will give you the swift kick in your arse that you need to get going. I have many Tabitha's in my life. I have a greater appreciation for them and want to improve myself to become the best Tabitha I can be. You never know when someone is on the verge of something great and all they need is just a little push in the right direction.

The White Oprah Cooks...

Bow-tie Lasagna.

I found this recipe last week on ThePioneerWoman.com. I have not made anything of hers that did not taste like something your Mom would make you if you were having a bad day. Just good food. Now I did a little extra with mine. I put it in this baking dish, sprinkled with mozzarella cheese and baked in the oven until it melted. I only did that because I had to take a picture of it but normally this is whipped up in a skillet and served.

This was super easy to make, it made a bunch as you can see and was pretty cheap to make. I am sitting here shoveling in little bow-ties as I am typing and I can tell you this is good stuff! Here is the recipe...

Ingredients

• 1 pound Ground Chuck
• 5 cups Bow Tie Noodles
• 3 cups Spaghetti Sauce (or Pizza Sauce, Whatever You Prefer)
• 1 Tablespoon Olive Oil
• 1 teaspoon Salt
• ½ teaspoons Garlic Powder
• 1 teaspoon Italian Seasoning (or More, Make It To Your Taste)
• ½ cups Mozzarella Cheese
• ½ cups Sour Cream

Preparation Instructions

Fry ground chuck in small pan. Meanwhile, cook noodles according to package directions.

After noodles are cooked, drain and drizzle with olive oil. Mix in your spaghetti sauce.

Add your fried hamburger, seasonings, cheese, and sour cream. Fold together and allow it all to combine and melt together, over low heat, for about 5 minutes, or until cheese is melted.

Serve to your family and be prepared to have it disappear before your very eyes.

One of My Favorite Things...

I got a pair of Dearfoam slippers for Christmas this year. Yep, you are looking at the exact kind the White Oprah wears around the house. To be honest, I have never really been a slipper wearing person. People have given them to me as Christmas gifts over the years and I would wear them long enough for the giver to leave town, then donate them to Goodwill. Hmmmm...maybe I should not have said that.

Those days are over! When I put these slippers on for the first time it was like walking on clouds. The inside is very soft but it is when you stand up to see how comfy they are is when you will be really impressed. Very cushioned...very warm and very in-expensive. Someone was being a tightwad this Christmas for sure! I looked these up online a few minutes ago and you can purchase a pair just like the White Oprah's for $9.99 right now at Sears. Run right out and get a pair. I promise you it will be the best $10 you have ever spent!

Love Bites Can Be Deadly

Here is a weird story for you...a woman in New Zealand was partially paralyzed after getting a hickey on her neck. Mr. Vacuum Lips sucked so hard on a major artery that it dislodged a blood clot that went to the woman's heart, causing the stroke.

This story makes me want to put a muzzle on anyone that might possibly touch me. Hickeys are just gross to begin with and now that I have found out they can make you paralyzed...forget about it!

The White Oprah is making this her personal crusade to save lives. "Hickeys Hurt People" bumper stickers will be available at your local Starbucks in the weeks to come. Get one and let the world know you don't suck!

Fountain Jumps Out of Nowhere

Ok well this video is pretty funny. I know texting and driving is dangerous but texting and walking?? The woman works in this mall and should have realized she would be coming up on a fountain at some point. She is angry because no one came to help her. Hey dummy! It is because they are rolling around on the ground laughing.

Normally I would not make fun of something like this but this woman is now turning her stupidity into a lawsuit. Nice.

I Am Addicted To...

I just cannot get enough of TLC's "My Strange Addiction". Every Wednesday night at 8pm is like Christmas as a child all over again. The beauty of this show is no matter what kind of craziness you have going on in your life it's nothing compared to some of these folks. Tonight I got to watch a woman that is addicted to eating the foam out of couch cushions. I don't even know how she even came up with that one. I have eaten lots of stuff but have never thought of my couch as a buffet. Wouldn't that be an expensive habit? She must have to replace furniture quite frequently.

I am going to share a clip of one of my favorite episodes...the girl that eats toilet paper. And you thought 2-ply paper was just an added bonus for wiping? Check out the clip and then check out this show on Wednesday nights and let me know what you think...

SingSnap Comes to The White Oprah

I love Singsnap.com! The main reason I love going there is to watch people sing and video tape themselves...gives me a good laugh. It is basically like the first weeks of American Idol...you know the only time to watch American Idol. Some people dance, some wear costumes and hey some of them are pretty good.

If you are a brave soul you can buy a membership and they will let you sing and record your own songs to post for the world to see. If you have ever needed to channel your inner Barry Manilow, this is the place.

So how can White Oprah tell you about something but never used it herself? Click on the link and you will get to hear the White Oprah sing. Please take the animals and children outside, I would hate to be sued for damaging their ears. Listen at your own risk...then go take a peek at Singsnap.com.

"I Have a Dream"

In honor of MLK day, I thought I would tell everyone about a site I have been going to for awhile called Kiva.org. Men and women from all around the world go to this site to borrow money to start a business, buy supplies for a business and occasionally for personal expenses. You can loan anywhere from $25 to $500 and Kiva does charge a service fee for the transaction to keep the site going.

You are loaning money, it will come back to you eventually. Each case gives you an idea as to when you should expect your money to be paid back. I just like the idea that you are loaning someone money to help their business grow. I have not one time had someone not pay me back in full.

The picture above is Freddy and I have loaned him some money because he needs supplies for the sewing workshop he runs in Nicaragua. He will be using the money to purchase fabric, thread, buttons and zippers. Freddy started his business when he was 14 years old.

So go check this out...in honor of MLK let's help someone today to have their dreams come true.

White Oprah Says Go Here...

I am addicted to this site. Basically good old Brad scours the internet looking for items that have been marked down. Once he finds what he thinks is a good deal, he goes and checks to make sure it is the cheapest deal out there and by how much. I have signed up to receive his daily e-mail of deals and I am pretty sure I have bought something almost every time I have gotten the e-mail (yes all my charge cards are maxed out...I don't have the Real Oprah money just yet so keep those donations coming).

So go check out this site and see if you find any deals you like...here are some examples of what I have bought so far...

• Invicta stainless steel watch valued at $495 for $59.
• 2 year subscription to Budget Travel Magazine for $5.
• Keen leather shoes valued at $110 for $63.
• My last purchase was a 4 GB memory stick for $5.95 shipping and tax included.

http://www.bradsdeals.com/

Welcome To The White Oprah

Hello there and welcome to my new blog. Let me introduce myself. I am the White Oprah. On my blog you may find things that will make you laugh...or cry...or frighten you. My blog might inspire you or make you want to go jump off a cliff.

I will share some things I find interesting with you. There will be a few samples of my writing from a class I am taking, pictures, videos, funny stories and my deepest darkest thoughts (Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?).

The main reason this blog was created is to make me filthy rich just like the Oprah. So donations are accepted and appreciated. The money will be used to buy crazy pills and M&M's. Maybe if you all dig really deep I might be able to buy a house one day and stop living in the bathrooms down at the park (showering in a sink is getting to be a real hassle).

Thanks for stopping by. The White Oprah now gives you permission to get back to your lives.